Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
