how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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