Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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