how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
how drunk are you?
Several
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
