Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
