Me too!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
