i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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