I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think your dad took our porno
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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