Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my shit smells like andre
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
