i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
