So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
