i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't deserve a penis
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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