So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
