Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
