shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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