I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i think i just lost a toe
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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