Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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