I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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