8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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