physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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