champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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