Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
