I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
