You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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