Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
