she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
