dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
