My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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