I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
