It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
