4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
