walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
