in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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