she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
