Grow some girl-balls and come out already
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
