careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
