I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
