Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
