his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
