so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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