I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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