I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
