Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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