Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
