well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
