We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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