You work out of a Hotel?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
