I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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