Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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