Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Randomize
