Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
